Anxiety and Big Life Changes

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned on this blog that I’m moving to China at the beginning of September of this year so: I’M MOVING TO CHINA IN SEPTEMBER.

I’m going to be teaching English to a bunch of kids in Shanghai and I could not be more excited. As I’m from India, I like to think this is almost like going back to the motherland but in a completely different country. I have always wanted to visit China and teach English abroad so this was the perfect opportunity for me. I’ll be going with Disney English which adds even more excitement to this endeavor.

However, and this is a big however, I am really anxious about this move. My first big move was in 2001 to come to the US from India and I’ve moved states since then but neither of these circumstances hold the same anxieties. For one, I was a child when I moved to the US and I can’t even remember half of those emotions. That culture shock was a lot, yes, but I was able to work through them. Second, any moves between states isn’t the same as moves between countries so I don’t really have that much experience in this regard.

Third, my study abroad experience is also not comparable in my option for a variety of reasons. The US and England are both majority English speaking countries and Western countries that have a lot of similarities in cultures. China, on the other hand, is a very different beast.

I am so anxious about everything. What if I’m not a good teacher? What if the kids don’t like me? What if I mess up? What if I can’t get used to living in Shanghai? What if I don’t make friends? What if I miss hope too much? What if what if what if?

I’m an extensive list maker and have created mine for packing but I’m so anxious that I’m going to miss something important. On the other hand, I’m also anxious that I’m going to take too much stuff to China which is also not a good thing either.