Topic of the Day:
This Year Was Hell Personally
I don’t know if there’s anything I can say about this year that hasn’t already been said. We’ve all been through so much this year and it’s been worse for me personally to. If I’m being very honest I am really nervous about this post but I am willing to be as open as possible. I don’t know if writing this personal reflection is even necessary because I’m sure everyone understands just what hell it has been.
I’ll be talking about this in one post but I lost my maternal grandfather in 2020 which was the hardest thing for me to deal with. If that wasn’t the worst thing, I also got stuck back in the states and I lost my job. There hasn’t been a year so far where everything in my life has gone to hell. At the end of the day, however, I am happy to have made it through and survived. That is one thing that I am taking at least.
Going off of what I just said, I think the one thing I’ve come to realize in 2020 is that I am incredibly hard on myself. Well this is a Notion I have always been aware of it wasn’t until this year where I had to fix it. Why am I so gracious with everyone else but myself? Why are others allowed to make mistakes and be forgiven but I am not? If I’m being very honest, 2020 ended up being a very reflective year for me. Well I didn’t journal as much as I wanted to during this year, there is so much I want to take from 2020 into 2021 and for the rest of my life.
For one, I need to genuinely practice grace for myself. There were so many obstacles that 2020 put in front of me but I was able to survive all of them.
Second, dealing with grief is not linear. This process will be extremely complicated and it’s okay. I’m going to talk more about it in another post because this was such a big part of 2020 and one that will impact me forever.
Third, I am the only one stopping myself. Honesty, I didn’t think I would be where I am today if I hadn’t worked on getting out of my mind.
I thought about creating a longer list but there is something about three that really makes me happy. These three aren’t that easy to deal with in the first place and they will all be life long struggles.
Do you have any lessons from 2020 that you want to take into the new year?